This weekend we will continue with the topic of conflict resolution in the youth area and specifically look at forgiveness. What is forgiveness? Is there a difference between saying “I am sorry” and “Will you forgive me?” If I do tell my friend or family member I forgive them, then what should I understand that to mean? Does it matter if I bring the offense back up again?

Many times we might tell people we forgive them, but often what we say doesn’t match what we really do.

In the book, Peacemaking for Families, Ken Sande looks t0 the topic of forgiveness. He says forgiveness is not

  • forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s not like love, hate, jealousy, envy, or lust.
  • forgiveness is not forgetting. God doesn’t forget our sins when He forgives them. He decides not to remember them; not to mention, recount, or think about them ever again; not to hold them against us in the final ledger.
  • forgiveness is not excusing. The fact that we forgive indicates that a sin was committed.
He goes on to say, forgiveness is
  • forgiveness is an act of the will, a decision not to think or talk about what someone has done.
  • forgiveness is an active process involving a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action.
  • forgiveness is the canceling of a debt that someone has incurred because of improper behavior or words.
  • forgiveness brings us back together after an offense has separated us from each other.
Think of forgiveness as a set of four promises. When we forgive someone, we make these four pledges:
  1. I will not think about this incident.
  2. I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
  3. I will not talk to others about this incident.
  4. I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Now, when I think of forgiveness this way, it makes me think to some situations where I never truly forgave someone. Read through these again and discuss them in your home. Share these thoughts with one another and help one another get a biblical understanding of forgiveness.
Here is a pretty cool video I came across as well.

Posted on May 20, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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